The adventures of Jack and Ianto
by Muttzrock
Summary: A series about the little events that happen in Jack and Ianto's life. Jack/Ianto Slash.
1. Ianto can we

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Ianto can we…**

**Warnings: None (I think)**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto**

**Summary: Jack wants something and Ianto refuses to give it to him.**

**A.N: I was feeling depressed today, reading so many negative things on the internet bought their relationship. "Oh Jack loved Gwen more" "Ianto was secretly evil" "Jack used Ianto only for sex" "Ianto was too closed off for anyone to know him" yada yada yada so I'm writing this little series to cheer myself up and anyone else who's feeling a little low. Enjoy x**

'Ianto can we...'

'No'

'Ianto please…'

'I said no'

'But what if we…'

'No!'

'Please'

'NO!'

'Why, not?'

'Because it's stupid and impossible'

'It's not impossible'

'Well it's definitely unhygienic'

'We do a lot of other things you claim to be unhygienic'

'And I will put a end to them too if you won't let this go'

'What if I promised I'll wash it everyday to keep it clean?'

'I would reply with I don't care we're not doing it'

'But Ianto…'

'No Jack no, we are not keeping the alien, creature you found while walking back from the bank that you "claimed" had followed you home'

'But it did'

'You were carrying it into the hub'

'But it has such short legs; it would have followed me if it could'

'Jack!'

'Ianto you're always the one telling me to show my commitment for our relationship, well if we adopt this, whatever it is then that's a step in strengthening our relationship'

'No I think a step to strengthen our relationship is if you did the washing up once in a while'

'You're beginning to sound like such a woman'

*glare*

'Sorry Ianto'

*sigh* 'Jack just no, think were would we put it? If the pterodactyl gets a glimpse of it, it will be down her throat in a matter of minutes and who knows if that thing is poisonous'

'We could keep it with us'

'In that hole you have us sleep in? I think not, unless you want to loose all your benefits'

'But Ianto, what else can we do with it if it can't stay with us?'

'When I've checked out what the creature is I will give it to a nice family and say that it was a puppy that had been used for experimentation'

'A family with a big house?'

'Yes'

'And a big back garden?'

'Yes'

'And kids who will play with it all the time'

'Yes Jack'

'Thank you'

'You're welcome…oh and Jack about our relationship….'

'You know there's a big pile of washing that desperately needs my attention' *runs*

*smirk* 'Of course there is'

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	2. James Bond night

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: James Bond night**

**Warnings: None**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto is watching James Bond, Jack wants attention.**

**A.N: Thanks for the positive reviews already guys **

'Ianto'

'Yes Jack?'

'Why don't we go out?'

'I'm watching Casino Royal'

'So?'

'So I'm staying in tonight'

'But I'm bored'

'Then you go out'

'I don't want to'

'Stop being so childish'

'I'm not being childish'

'Just sit down and watch the film'

'…'

'…'

'Alright I've watched it, can we go do something'

'Jack the film has barely started'

'It's boring'

'Bite your tongue'

'Hey let's go on a date'

'Oh yeah?'

'Yeah, I mean when did we last go on a date?'

'Well since our first date was what two years ago? I'd say our last date was two years ago'

'Well then we should go tonight'

'It's going to be very hard to book a table this time of night'

'I don't need to book a table'

'You do if we want to get into the fancier restaurants'

'…'

'No I am not having a date in McDonalds I'm not twelve!'

'Then we could go out to the pub, you know have a pub meal'

'Jack I am not missing my James Bond time, for a plate of pie and chips'

'Come on Ianto don't you want to spend time with me?'

'I'm spending time with you now'

'Not properly'

'Jack let me watch the film'

'But I'm bored'

'Then do something else then'

'Like what?'

'Like read a book, play cards, or better yet do your own paperwork that's lying on your desk, so I don't have to do it tomorrow morning'

'…'

'Jack stop pouting'

*kiss*

'You're not going to let me watch this film are you?'

*kiss*

'Fine you win'

'Yay'

*kiss*

*kiss*

'I guess I'll have to choose another night to drool over Daniel Craig'

'Okay that's it. That film is going in the bin.

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	3. Alone time

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Alone Time**

**Warnings: None**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Jack and Ianto are having a cozy night in until…**

**A.N: Thanks again for the already quick responses :) I'm uploading this chapter today because I think the last one was a bit short as well as this one.**

*cuddle*

*cuddle*

*kiss*

*kiss*

*ring, ring*

'Ianto turn your phone off'

'It could be someone important'

'Is it?'

'No it's Gwen'

'Tell her we're weevil hunting'

'Jack she cracked that code along time ago'

'Well what does she want then?'

'She wants us to come to a friend's party with her'

'Why would we do that?'

'Because her friend's are all snobby and she doesn't want to be alone with them'

'Can't Rhys go with her?'

'He's looking after the baby'

'Fine tell her we'll be there but not for long'

T/)

'Well that was interesting'

'Ianto you're too polite for your own good'

'Fine it was really boring and tedious and I regret going'

'That's more like it'

'Well we did it for a friend'

'…'

'Jack don't get annoyed just because things didn't go your way'

'…'

'Jack we still have time you know'

*smirk* 'Time for what?'

*kiss*

*kiss*

'I'm sure you can guess'

'I'm sure I can'

*beep, beep*

'Ianto make the computer stop beeping'

'There's a weevil roaming around'

'…'

'It's close by though'

'Oh I feel much better'

'Don't snap at me! Come on let's get it'

T/)

'You know the only creature I wanted biting me tonight was you'

'Well I was still going to but if you keep being like that I'm going to tell you to sleep on the couch'

'How come when we're at mine if you're upset I sleep on the couch, and if I am upset I still get to sleep on the couch'

'Because I'm mortal I need better sleep than you'

*knock, knock*

'Jack get the door, I'll make up the couch for you'

'Oh you're so thoughtful' *opens door* 'John?'

'Hi Jack, missed me?'

'Why are you here?'

'Was in the neighbourhood and needed a place to stay, so where am I sleeping?'

'Ianto is it ok if John stays the night?'

'….'

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	4. John is still here

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: John is still here**

**Warnings: Captain John Hart (Well he is so sexy he deserves his own warning)**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: It's been a week after chapter 3 and John is still on the couch**

**A.N: Thanks for the reviews keep them coming please**

'Jack'

'Yes baby'

'Your ex is still here'

'I do know that Ianto, what do you want me to do about it?'

'Kick him out'

'I can't'

'Why not?'

'Because he has nowhere else to go and he seems to like it here'

'Well at least that's one of us'

'Why are you so angry about this? He isn't doing any harm'

'Why are you being so accepting of this? Let's face it Jack you don't like people. You don't like being near people for too long a time, when we went to stay the night at my nan's house you couldn't wait to leave'

'That's because your grandmother kept calling me Margery'

'Your fringe confused her, anyway why is John…'

'What's wrong with my fringe?'

'WHY is John allowed to stay here as long as he wants?'

'It's not for as long as he wants, it's as long as he needs till he finds himself a place to live'

'How about on the streets'

'You don't mean that'

'You want a bet?'

'Ianto'

'Jack! He maybe a member of the team but he's still your ex, he still tried to kill Gwen and he keeps calling me "Eye Candy"'

'That's because you're so handsome'

'Jack!'

'Okay I'll find a place for him, hey why not let him move into your apartment?'

'Flat'

'Flat then'

'How about no'

'Oh come on Ianto he'll live in your "flat" and you can live here permanently'

'Permanently? Are you asking me to move in with you?'

'Well not exactly…'

'Oh well you see, you asking me to move in with you would have been the only thing that could possibly redeem you for letting your insane ex move into the hub. And you know taking back what you said will not work you are still in trouble'

'To be fair I always kind of thought you did live here, you're never at home, you're always at mine…I didn't mean it like that'

'Well maybe I should move back into my "home" and bring John with me….John do you want to move in with me into my flat?'

'Hell yeah!'

'John shut up! Ianto stop being a…'

'Being a what?'

'A brat! Look okay you move here, I want you here and I don't want you living with him. I want you living with me! Alright?'

'…'

'…'

'John do you want to move in my flat while I move in with Jack?'

'Are you leaving the TV?'

'Yeah'

'Alright sounds great!'

'Right Jack I am now your live in boyfriend'

'Yes and how is that any different than what we used to be?'

'Just means Rhiannon will ask us for Sunday dinner and you will have to be polite'

'Damn'

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	5. Ianto is jealous

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Ianto is Jealous**

**Warnings: Hint of Jack/Gwen but it's purely platonic**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto thinks Jack spends too much time with Gwen.**

**A.N: Since I didn't post a chapter yesterday I decided to post two today. **

'Ianto, I'm home'

'I know I saw you on the security footage'

'Oh alright then, well did you miss me?'

'Suppose'

'Only suppose, well I missed you'

'Are you drunk?'

'No course not'

'Then stop being sweet, you're scaring me'

'Why are you so grumpy?'

'I'm not grumpy, I'm working?'

'Why? It's late and there's no rift activity, you should be in bed'

'You're not my father'

'…'

'What?'

'….'

'Jack, don't look at me like that?'

'I know what's wrong with you'

'Oh do you now?'

'You're jealous'

'Why on earth would I be jealous?'

'Because I went for a drink with Gwen tonight'

'Like I care'

'Oh you don't care?'

'No course I don't'

'So you don't care that we sat in a secluded booth and I was looking as dashing as ever, and she was wearing such a very short...OW!'

'What's the matter?'

'You just threw a laptop at my head'

'Oh then Owen was right, my aim is pretty bad I was aiming for your crotch'

'I was only joking Ianto'

'And yet I'm still not amused'

*hug*

'Jack, get off of me'

*hug*

'Now Jack'

*hug*

'I'm still not amused'

'Then why are you smiling?'

'I'm not'

'You are'

'It's a figment of your imagination'

*kiss*

'Now you're pushing it'

*kiss*

*kiss*

'Knew I could cheer you up with my charm'

'You're not out of the woods yet'

'Yeah but you know there's no reason to be jealous'

'I wasn't jealous'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah you weren't jealous'

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	6. Ianto is hurt, Jack panics

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Ianto is hurt, Jack panics**

**Warnings: Ianto in pain**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto was attacked by a weevil, he's alright but Jack needs some convincing**

**A.N: Special thanks to****specialfrancine for reviewing so quickly and for also sending the reviews the moment I wake up in the morning.**

'Ianto how are you feeling?'

'Fine Jack just a little sore'

'Are you sure? You could have broken bones'

'I'm sure I would know by now if I did. I was told I was fine and I feel fine'

'You were bitten by a weevil there was blood everywhere, that is not fine'

'Don't exaggerate there was not blood everywhere'

'Well there could have been'

'Yes but you saved me and now I'm okay with a slightly saw arm, you can let me off the bed now'

'No you need your rest'

'I've been resting for hours Jack, let me do something like make coffee for everyone'

'Not in your condition'

'It's only making coffee'

'Yes but it's dangerous you could get seriously hurt'

'How?'

'…'

'Well?'

'You could get burnt'

'It's coffee Jack; if it spills on me while it's still hot I'm sure I'll survive'

'But you could get hurt'

'Come here'

*cuddle*

*cuddle*

'You sure you don't want anything?'

'I'm sure Jack'

'Maybe some food, something to drink or painkillers?'

'No Jack'

'Are you absolutely sure you're not in pain it was a really nasty bite after all'

'You have given me worse bites'

'Are you warm?'

'I'm warm enough as you're holding me'

'You sure you don't want a blanket or something?'

'I'm sure'

'Do you need a week off work maybe two?'

'No'

'Well you're definitely not doing any field work for at least a month'

'Yes I am'

'You shouldn't defy your Captain'

'That's right but you're also my boyfriend so I have every right to defy you as much as I want'

'Ianto please take the week off work'

'…'

'Please'

'Okay fine I'll take the week off work but that is all everything else stays the same'

'That's fair'

'Oh but if there's some major disaster I am helping, you will not lock me in one of the cells…again'

'I just didn't want you hurt'

'I know baby but you can't stop me doing my job'

'I'm your boss I could fire you'

'Who'd make your coffee then?'

'Good point'

'…'

'…'

'Jack I have to go to the toilet'

'Do you need my help?'

'No'

'…'

'Jack let me up'

'…'

'Jack!'

'…'

'Come on I'm bursting'

'I'll let you up if you need my help'

'…'

'…'

'Fine I need your help'

'Yay'

'You're sick'

'That's why I'm your boyfriend'

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	7. Working away from home

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Working away from home**

**Warnings: Sad Ianto**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Jack needs to go away with the doctor for a week, Ianto isn't happy.**

**A.N: I should have posted this sooner but I got caught up with another fic I'm writing. Sorry.**

'Ianto where's my bag?'

'What bag?'

'The bag with my stuff in it'

'What stuff?'

'The stuff for when I leave tomorrow'

'Oh that bag. Yeah I don't know where it is'

'Ianto it was right next to you'

'And now it isn't'

'Well I need it'

'Well go look for it then'

'I have been that's why I'm asking you now'

'I don't know where it is'

'Ianto'

'I don't know where it is'

'Ianto!'

'Okay! I've hidden it'

'Why?'

'I thought it would be fun'

'Ianto?'

'I don't want you to go away!'

'Ianto'

'Stop saying my name'

'I'll be back in a week'

'That's a long time'

'It isn't, it'll go by quickly'

'No it won't'

'Just think you'll get to have some time on your own'

'You won't be alone you will be with the doctor'

'And I'll be missing you'

'Then don't go, tell him you're ill'

'I can't get ill'

'I'll find a way to make you ill'

'Baby'

'Jack'

'I have to go'

'No you don't, make Gwen go'

'You're being very silly now'

'I'm not a child'

'You're acting like one'

'…'

'No the look isn't working'

'…'

'Nope I am not being affected by this'

'…'

'I have to go'

'…'

'You can sulk all you like, it isn't working'

'…'

'…'

'…'

'Do you want to come with me?'

'Yes please'

*sigh* 'Then you better pack'

'Already have'

'Did you plan this from the beginning?'

'Would I do such a thing?'

'Yes'

'Then yes I did, but you already said I can go with you and you can't take it back. Come on lets go!'

'We can as soon as you tell me where my bag is'

'It's on your desk'

'Huh?'

'It's always best to hide things in plain sight'

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	8. The commitment chat

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: The commitment chat**

**Warnings: None**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto think it's finally time for the talk.**

**A.N: I'm posting two chapters today because this one is so short. Wrote this chapter ages ago so I think it's about time I posted it.**

'Jack sit down please' 

'Okay, what's up?' 

'Just think we should have a talk' 

'We always talk' 

'Yeah, but not what of the things we should talk about' 

'Like what?' 

'Like our relationship...sit back down!' 

'Why do we need to talk about it, can't we just let it be what it is?' 

'We need to know that we're on the same page' 

'Why what other pages are there?' 

'Jack!' 

'Sorry' 

'...' 

'Ianto please don't be sad' 

'Jack do you love me?' 

'Do I love you?' 

'Yes because I love you and I was wondering if you felt the same way, it's kind of important you know, so do you?' 

'...' 

'Jack say something' 

'Of course I love you, you idiot. Why do you think I stay here? For the weather? You are the only person I have ever felt this close to, the only person that I could spend decades and decades with. You are the only person who knows what I am and doesn't treat me like a freak or a hero. You treat me how I need to be treated, like a boyfriend' 

'...' 

'Ianto please stop crying' 

'Its your fault all this time I thought my boyfriend was an emotionally stunted, overgrown child and now I find out he loves me back. I should hit you for being so sweet' 

*hug* 

*hug* 

'So want to have sex?' 

'Alright'

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	9. Sunday dinner

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Sunday dinner**

**Warnings: None**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto and Jack are going to have Sunday dinner at Rhiannon's.**

**A.N: Wrote this chapter today when I was on the train home.**

'I hate this'

'We haven't even got there yet'

'Why do we have to be there?'

'Because she invited us'

'I don't like people'

'Of course you do, I see you flirting with them often enough'

'That's different, that's politeness'

'Jack is there a particular reason why you don't want to see my family?'

'They may not like me'

'Since when did you care if people like you or not?'

'I don't but your family aren't people' 

'You've just called them people' 

'You know what I mean' 

'No jack I really don't' 

'People don't matter but your family do' 

'Why?' 

'Because you do' 

'...' 

'...' 

'That was kind of sweet actually' 

'I'm glad you thought so' 

'They'll like you, you know. Everyone likes you' 

'Are you sure they'll like me?' 

'Of course I am' 

'But you were also sure that old lady's dog wouldn't bite me' 

'Yeah well you did smell of meat after eating those pork scratchings. Also my sister is not going to bite your finger off if she doesn't like you' 

'I just...it means a lot that they like me' 

'Well even if they don't what does it matter I'll still be your boyfriend' 

'You said they will like me' 

'I did and they will' 

'But you said if' 

'I meant it hypothetically' 

'You said if as in there was a chance they don't like me' 

'Of course there is a chance they won't like you. I'm just saying they are more likely to like you rather than not like you' 

'Well what can I do to ensure that they will like me?' 

'The obvious jack, don't insult or hit them and you'll be okay' 

'...' 

'...' 

'I still hate this' 

T/) 

'So how was it?' 

'Scarier than I thought' 

'No it wasn't' 

'Yes it was' 

'You got on with the kids' 

'Did they really like me?' 

'Of course they did, especially David he adored you after you played football with him' 

'Really?' 

'Yeah but then again you're about the same mental age' 

'Hey!' 

'I'm only joking. You got on with Rhiannon too she's the most important one. She even commented on how nice and attractive you were' 

*smug face* 

'Johnny didn't though' 

'You what?' 

'Johnny didn't like you' 

'Did he say that?' 

'No Rhiannon did' 

'Why doesn't he like me?' 

'Don't know, he just didn't' 

'But why?' 

'He just doesn't Jack. Did you like me?' 

'No' 

'Then what's the problem?' 

'I guess there is none' 

'...' 

'...' 

'You are such a drama queen'

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	10. Eating in bed

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Eating in bed**

**Warnings: Innuendos**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Jack eats in bed, Ianto is not happy.**

**A.N: After this chapter I won't be able to post a new chapter till Friday at the earliest but hopefully I will have written a couple new chapters.**

'Jack what do you think you're doing?' 

'Eating' 

'I can see that' 

'So why did you ask?' 

'You're eating on our bed' 

'So?' 

'So! Get off my bed' 

'Since when is it your bed?' 

'Since I was the one who bought the frame, the mattress and everything that goes on it, if it was up to you we'd still be sleeping in a hole' 

'I still don't see the problem' 

'The problem is you're eating in bed' 

'And?' 

'And you shouldn't' 

'Why?' 

'Because I said so' 

'...' 

'What?' 

'You're sexy when you're angry' 

'Will it be as sexy when I castrate you?' 

'No it won't' 

'Then get out of bed!'

'You on your period or something?'

'Jack I'm getting extremely frustrated'

'Then come join me'

'Get off the bed!'

'But?'

'NOW!'

'Okay, okay I'm up. So what's the big fuss?'

'You get crumbs under the covers and it's very irritating when I try and go to sleep but I'm too busy rubbing away bits of your food'

'Is that all? Ianto you can be such a…Ow!'

'Such a what?'

'I don't want to say it you may hit me again'

'Don't. Eat. In. Bed'

'Yes sir'

'Good boy'

'What does that mean I can't eat you?'

'Depends if I need to be up early in the morning'

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	11. Rugby

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Rugby**

**Warnings: Ianto in shorts (could cause heart attack from too much sexiness)**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto wants to play rugby, Jack wants to watch**

**A.N: I'm posting two chapters today, hope you guys enjoy**

'Ianto where are you going?' 

'I've already told you where I'm going' 

'When?' 

'Yesterday, a week ago and a month ago' 

'Is something happening today?' 

'No jack, I'm just wearing this outfit because of the fashion' 

'Oh yeah your not wearing a suit' 

'So observant' 

'You look like your going to go play rugby' 

'That's exactly what I'm going to do' 

'Since when do you play rugby?' 

'Since every Sunday when I'm not working' 

'How come I've never seen you play?' 

'Because I don't want you to' 

'Why?' 

'Because I said so' 

'I would love to see you play' 

'You wouldn't even know what was going on' 

'True...you look pretty sexy in those short shorts' 

*winks* 

'Can I go and watch you play?' 

'No' 

'Why?' 

'Because I have a match' 

'Then I'm definitely going to watch' 

'No you'll distract me' 

'I won't I'll sit quiet and just watch' 

'Promise?' 

'Promise' 

'Fine but don't do anything daft' 

T/) 

'Ianto you were incredible out there!' 

'...' 

'What?' 

'Did you really have to kiss me after the match?' 

'Did it embarrass you?' 

'The kiss didn't, the hand down my shorts did' 

'A lot of guys were slapping your ass I just wanted to show them you were taken' 

'They were congratulating me' 

'So was I' 

'...' 

'You were really great out there' 

'I had to put a good show on since you came all that way to watch me' 

'And a good show you did put on. Now let's get you out of these clothes and we can have sex in the shower, sound good?' 

'Just as long as you don't plan on filming us and sending it to my team members'

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	12. What's up?

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: What's up?**

**Warnings: If I told you it would ruin the surprise**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto has something to say to Jack**

**A.N: Second chapter for today, might be a couple of days till I post the next chapter, I'm feeling poorly not sure when I'll have the energy to write.**

'Jack?' 

'Yep?' 

'Nothing' 

'Alright' 

'Jack?' 

'What's up baby?' 

'Nothing' 

'You sure?' 

'Yeah' 

'Okay' 

'Jack?' 

'Yes Ianto?' 

'It's nothing' 

'Well there is obviously something' 

'No there isn't' 

'Are you sure?' 

'Of course' 

'Good' 

'...' 

'...' 

'Jack?' 

'What Ianto?' 

'Nothing doesn't matter' 

'...' 

'...' 

'...' 

'Jack?' 

'Either tell me what's wrong or shut up!' 

'...' 

'...' 

*goes to bedroom* 

'I am not going after him, he can sulk all he wants but I am not checking up on him. It's not my fault I asked what was wrong he was being irritating... No I don't feel guilty snapping at him. No I don't. I don't even care if he's crying...no don't care...' *goes to bedroom* 'Baby, are you ok?' 

'Yeah' 

'You sure?' 

'No' 

*hug* 

*hug* 

'Tell me what's wrong' 

'You know when you got pregnant?' 

'Yeahhhh' 

'How was that possible?' 

'51st century evolution' 

'Right' 

'Why?' 

'No reason' 

'Ianto tell me' 

'I was wondering if I was able to get pregnant' 

'...' 

'Forget it I was just being daft' 

'Ianto Jones, are you feeling broody?' 

'Maybe a little' 

*kiss* 

*kiss* 

'There is a way' 

'Yeah?' 

'Yeah' 

'Cool' 

'Love you gorgeous' 

'Love you too captain'

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	13. Decorating

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Decorating**

**Warnings: None**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto wants Jack to paint their bedroom. Jack is not keen on the idea**

**A.N: Posting earlier than I thought still ill but I have sleeping problems so I'm still writing. Thanks to everyone who has sent reviews they've all been so kind and I appreciate all you guys.**

'Jack, get up!'

'…'

'Jack!'

'Why are we doing this? Or more specifically why am I doing this?"

'We are doing this because we should really have a nice looking bedroom, a bedroom that feels like a bedroom not a bed in an office'

'But why am _I_ the one who is painting?'

'I could get paint on my suit'

'So what are you going to do while I do this?'

'Your paperwork'

'Oh alright…how is it?" 

"Boring'

'So is this'

'You haven't even started yet'

'I just know it's going to be boring'

'Well the sooner you start it, the sooner it'll be finished'

'Ianto I really don't want to do this'

'And I _really_ don't want to be doing your paperwork'

'Why don't we have sex?'

'You'd still have to do the painting; you might as well get it done before sex'

'…'

'…'

'Can I have a break now?'

'The paint brush hasn't even touched the wall'

'Sorry'

'Right I'm going to the shops'

'I'll go with you'

'No you stay here!'

'Awe' *pout*

'Do as you're told, I won't be long'

*20 minutes later*

'Jack I'm back, I thought about making enchiladas for…what the? Jack you haven't done anything!'

'I have, look'

'You have painted a line on the wall'

'That's something'

'Jack I am this close to seriously hurting you right now'

'I probably would do it quicker if you helped me'

'Jack…'

'Can't you help me? Please'

'Fine'

'…'

'…'

'Ianto why are you getting undressed, oh have you changed your mind about having sex?'

'I am not going to get paint on my clothes'

'So you're going to paint…naked?'

'Yep'

'That's…wow'

'Quite, now if you manage to paint this room without aggravating me, you may take advantage of my naked body. Sound fair?'

'Definitely!'

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	14. Ianto's birthday

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Ianto's birthday**

**Warnings: Sexual misunderstanding**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Jack and John discuss what they got Ianto for his birthday. Will he like them?**

**A.N: Another chapter written on the train home**

'John!' 

'Jack?' 

'What did you get Ianto for his birthday?' 

'A rabbit' 

'No seriously?' 

'Yes seriously' 

'Why?' 

'Wanted to make Ianto Jones a happy young man' 

'That's my job!' 

'What to bounce about?' 

'If he so wishes' 

'And eat carrots and live in a hut?' 

*pause* 'Oh you mean a bunny rabbit...why did you get him one of those?' 

'Because I always wanted a bunny when I was young' 

'So why get Ianto one?' 

'Because he wouldn't be able to keep it here, it'll have to live with me' 

'So for Ianto's birthday you bought yourself a rabbit?' 

'Yep' 

'I'm sure he'll love it' 

'So what did you get him? 

'Something very special' 

'Oh Christ you got him something awful haven't you' 

'Hey I resent that; I got him a tea's maid' 

'...' 

'...' 

'What the hell is that?' 

'Well when he ever wants coffee instantly all he needs to do is to lean over and press a button and there it is. Fresh coffee in an instant' 

'Instant coffee?' 

'Yeah' 

'...' 

'What?' 

'I must admit I was sceptical about my present but now I know I don't have the worst gift'

'What are you talking about? Ianto will love this'

'Really?'

'Yeah'

'…'

'He's going to hate it isn't he?'

'Yep'

'What should I do?'

'Prepare yourself for months and months of no sex'

T/)

'Happy birthday Ianto'

'Thanks Gwen and thanks for the watch, it's really nice'

'You hate it don't you?'

'No it is really nice'

'Here's the receipt'

'Thank you'

T/)

'Happy birthday mate, Gwen and I went halves on the watch; it was me who picked it out'

'I never would have guessed Rhys'

T/)

'Here you go Ianto, happy birthday'

'Awe thanks Lois, wow all the James Bond films on Blu-ray'

'You like it?'

'It's incredible; for once someone has given me something I actually wanted. Thank you'

T/)

'Happy birthday Eye candy'

'Thanks John'

'I got you a rabbit'

'A rabbit?'

'Yeah but you can keep it at my place, no worries about that'

'That's so…thoughtful. Thank you I guess'

'You're welcome'

T/)

'Happy birthday gorgeous!'

'Thanks Jack'

*kiss*

*kiss*

'So you're probably wondering what I got you'

'Yeah I must admit I have been excited'

'Well I got you this'

'Jack it's your old pocket watch'

'Look let me explain, I bought a teas maid then realised you would hate it far too late and this was the only thing in the hub that I knew you really liked, so yeah it's yours'

'I love it'

'You do?'

'Of course I do, it was a part of your past and you gave it to me, it means more to me than anything else you could have gotten me'

'Even a teas maid'

'Jack I swear if you had given me that I would have shot you'

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	15. Are you awake?

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Are you awake?**

**Warnings: Nipples**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Ianto can't sleep**

**A.N: Been awhile since I posted and something unexpected as happened some sort of plot is forming, who would have thought. Very fluffy chapter**

'Jack?'

'...' 

'Jack!' 

'...' 

'JACK!' 

'What, what?' 

'Are you awake?' 

'Of course I am you've just been shouting at me' 

*pout* 'Sorry' 

'What do you want baby?' 

'Taken care of' 

*cuddle* 

*cuddle* 

'Why aren't you sleeping?' 

'I was thinking' 

'Dangerous' 

'I was thinking about the future' 

'Definitely dangerous' 

'Like if we wanted to, how would we be able to get married' 

'Awe you want to get married to me?' 

'Well yeah maybe' 

'Who would have thought you Ianto Jones would be so conventional' 

'Conventional? I'm dating a 51st century immortal man, I'm living in a secret base with a pterodactyl as a pet' 

'Good point' 

'I would quite like the opportunity to marry you' 

'So would I, mmm you in a tux, think I had a wet dream about that' 

'Yeah well I'll wait for you to pop the question then I will be too busy' 

'Doing what?' 

'Training myself to act surprised when you eventually ask me' 

'How do you know I'm actually going to ask you?' 

'I just know' 

'Aren't you the smart one?' 

'One of us has to be' 

'Cheeky' 

*kiss* 'When I give birth do I have to breast feed?' 

'No, you won't be able to create milk' 

'Good, last think I need is for you to get jealous because someone else is sucking on my nipples' 

'You can't blame me you have yummy nipples that should only be for me' 

'Why do I have a feeling I know why I wake up nearly every morning with numb nipples?' 

'What can I say; sometimes I just can't help myself' 

'Dirty captain' 

*kiss* 

*kiss* 

'You think you can sleep now?' 

'I am tired but I like to talk to you some more' 

'What would you like to talk about?' 

'Anything' 

'Did you like the film that we watched last night' 

'Yeah vertigo is one of my favourite films' 

'You're a Hitchcock fan?' 

'Yep a big one' 

'I'll keep that in mind. You know I like this' 

'Like what?' 

'Just this, you naked, your head next to mine, I like it' 

'Awe aren't you romantic' 

'Very' 

'What do you think our kids would look like?' 

'With our looks they'll be beautiful, would you like boys or girls?' 

'I'd like boys maybe 2 boys and one girl' 

'Well that's fine by me since you'll be the one popping them out' 

'Tell me a story huh? Tell me about the future' 

'Alright well one day you will have our first child we will have by then a whole floor in the hub where...' 

'...' 

*smile* 'night baby…'

'Jack, at least wait till I'm asleep till you start sucking on my nipples"

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	16. Jack always listens to Ianto

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Jack always listens to Ianto**

**Warnings: None**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Torchwood is on a job but not everyone is in agreement.**

**A.N: Because this is a conversation of five people they will be written differently. They will be written like this **Jack **Ianto **_Gwen _John _Lois_

'_Jack, are we even going the right way?'_

'Yes of course we are'

'**Remind me again, what happened to all our computers?'**

'_The power has gone...strange'_

'Strange hey? I wonder how that happened Jack?'

'Shut up John!'

'_Why what happened to the power Jack?_

'_Trust me Lois it's best not to ask'_

'You're very quiet on the matter aren't you Eye candy?'

'**Why don't we get a navigator or even a map, I know it's not very Torchwood but we have run out of options unless you want to stop and ask someone for directions'**

'No I can find our way there'

'Bit of a bad time Jack to act like a man'

'Shut up John!'

'_I think Ianto's right Jack; you don't know where we are'_

'I know where I am!'

'_Do you know where we are Ianto?'_

'**No, Gwen maybe you should ring up Rhys see if he knows'**

'I know where we are!'

'I think I recognise this place'

'_Oh don't tell me'_

'_What?'_

'_The only reason John would know this street is if he had a fling here'_

'Hey I'll have you know I treated him with care and respect'

'**Lucky guy'**

'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit'

'**People only say that when they can't take it'**

'Someone sounds cranky, Jack not satisfying you'

'John shut up'

'_I'm sure we've already passed that pub'_

'No we haven't'

'_Yeah I think it looks familiar too'_

'All the pubs look the same around here'

'I think our Captain is ignoring us'

'Shut up John!'

'**Was the pub called the "Punch Bowl"?'**

'_Yes'_

'No'

'**Then yes we've been passed it'**

'_Oh that's it Jack we need to stop somewhere!'_

'No'

'_Jack I really think…'_

'NO'

'Come on "Captain"…'

'Shut up John'

'_Jack, pull over"_

"No"

'_I really think that…'_

'No!'

'Jack for…'

'John, will you just…Look I'm the leader I know better!'

'**Jack, pull over please'**

'Fine'

'_Should have just asked Ianto to tell him what to do'_

'Jack always listens to out little Eye candy, he wouldn't dare not'

'Shut up John!'

'**Why don't you shut up Jack? You were the one who messed up the power for us, it was you who refused to get a navigator, it was you who got us lost, got us going round in circles, now we are late the alien has probably gone so all this is really pointless now!'**

'Go Eye candy!'

'**Shut up John!'**

'I know it's my fault, sorry'

'**No Jack it isn't. Sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you like that'**

'Ianto it was okay'

'**No it wasn't I was being unfair'**

'You weren't'

'**I was'**

'Just go and shag each other, there's a hotel over there'

'_John is strangely right, you guys should'_

'_I agree, I hate it when you two get like this makes the job kind of depressing'_

'Sorry'

'**Sorry'**

'Great now mummy and daddy have stopped arguing, let's either go get drunk or at least go somewhere to sleep'

*kiss*

***kiss***

'_Oh great they're kissing, come on lets go they'll be here all night'_

'_Yeah I'm going to try get us some rooms over there. You coming John?'_

'No I'm quite happy here thanks'

'_Pervert'_

'That's why you love me babe'

'_Come on John I'll buy you a drink'_

'Whisky?'

'_If it gets you out the car then yes'_

'_I best ring Rhys tell him I'm coming home tomorrow. Guys I'm guessing you're sharing a room?'_

*kiss*

***kiss***

'_I'll take that as a yes'_

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	17. The fall out

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: The fall out**

**Warnings: Angst (sorry)**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Jack and Ianto are on a date but only Jack knows its fake, they have a falling out**

**A.N: Angsty chapter don't worry the next chapter is a direct follow up**

'See Ianto I'm taking you out on a date' 

'Yes I can see that Jack our second date. It's been a while since the first' 

'Hey this is our third date I took you to the zoo' 

'Ah fair point. Actually this is a really nice restaurant you do know that it isn't our

Anniversary yet' 

'I know' 

'So this is just a date? We're not here for anything special?' 

'Isn't a date special enough?' 

'Yeah of course it is, I was just wondering' 

'You're being weird tonight' 

'Sorry' 

'Are you feeling okay, not ill or anything?' 

'No I'm fine, I'm good' 

'So what should we talk about?' 

'Tell me what you've been up to' 

'Ianto not only do you work for me but we live together as well you know what I've been up to' 

'Yeah I suppose' 

'…'

'What are you looking at?' 

'Nothing'

'You seem a little out of it. What you thinking about it?'

'Nothing!'

'Is tonight a bad night? Because we can easily do another night'

'It's fine Ianto!'

'…' 

*ten minutes later* 

'…' 

'Jack, are you okay?' 

'Yes, why?' 

'Just this is a date and we haven't talked in ten minutes' 

'Do we really have to talk constantly?' 

'Well no but...' 

'But what?' 

'…'

'What?' 

'This isn't a date is it jack, you're working' 

'…' 

'And because I didn't know about it, it must be a job for the Doctor ' 

'Ianto this isn't the time for this, I'm trying to save the planet' 

'You're always trying to save the planet but you don't usually have to trick me to do it. Is it alright if I go?' 

'Yes if you want, was going to pay for it, treat you with some wine' 

'While you've got an eye looking out for whatever you're looking out for and we don't talk. You know what Jack, buy the doctor a meal and go on a date with him. I can't believe I thought you were going to...forget it bye Jack' 

*Ianto walks away* 

'What did you think? Ianto come back...' 

T/) 

*knock knock* 

'Who the fu...Eye candy? What are you doing here?' 

'Need a place to stay the night' 

'Why not stay with the Welsh bird and her hubby?' 

'Don't want to be around happy people right now' 

'Fair enough, come in we can have some beers and bitch about Jack' 

'How do you know it's about jack?' 

'…' 

'Point taken...I like what you've done to the place' 

'I haven't done anything to it' 

'That's why I like it' 

'I always did like honesty in a man makes me feel I can trust them' 

'Kind of wish people didn't trust me' 

'Wow you really are an unhappy bunny tonight, Jack's upset you bad?' 

'Yeah, John you were in love with Jack right?' 

'Yeah I was' 

'Do you still love him now?' 

'Yeah I guess, might not be in love with him anymore but I still don't like the idea of him in pain unless he deserves it of course'

'…'

'I like honesty but I don't like silence'

'Sorry, I just… me and Jack have been on two dates one was at a zoo we kind of went there for the hell of it so it didn't really feel like a date, tonight was supposed to be our third date but it wasn't he was doing a job for the Doctor'

'Ah'

'He was in love with the Doctor you know?'

'Yeah'

'And he was in love with Gwen'

'I know love, been a bitch to it my whole life, and what those two had was wanting what you cant have if both of them were available they would feel nothing for each other'

'Maybe I should become unavailable maybe he could love me like that'

'Well I wouldn't mind if you started dating me'

'I'll think about it'

'Is there anything else that's bothering you?'

'Look don't tell anyone this, especially Jack but I was kind of hoping he's propose'

'Why would he do that?'

'Oh thanks'

'I didn't mean it like that. Have you guys talked about it?'

'Yeah, going out on a date was so random I kind of hoped it was something special, silly me hey?'

'Cheer up Eye candy; you're making me feel sad'

T/)

'Ianto are you here?'

'No he left'

'Doctor what are you doing in the hub?'

'Just passing, the mission went well I see. Earth is still here'

'Yes it is'

'You okay Jack? You look worried'

'I'm fine. Really I'm fine'

'Alright come on talk to me, what's wrong?'

'Well for one Ianto is not here, did he tell you where he went?'

'I saw him, he didn't see me. Well I think he did see me but he just chose to not acknowledge me. I'm guessing the date didn't go well'

'He didn't appreciate that the date was used as a cover up'

'Ah well just treat him to a proper date tomorrow or something you two probably date all the time'

'…'

'What have I missed?'

'Well a date is a bit of a rare occurrence we haven't been on a date since…a long time ago'

'I see the problem'

'He was really hurt too'

'I'm sure he'll forgive and forget'

'You know when people say that this person that they love is their world'

'Yeah'

'I finally understand what they mean'

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	18. The make up

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: The make up**

**Warnings: Angst then sweetness**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto **

**Summary: Jack feels bad and wants to make Ianto to feel better**

**A.N: Follows straight from the last chapter. This was so hard to write because certain keys on my keyboard don't work such as q o d shift ' lock. This is not one of my fave chaps coz it was so hard :'(**

*knock knock*

'Ianto!' 

'Hello Jack' 

'What are you doing here?' 

'I still technically own this place John only rents it' 

'Why are you here and not home?' 

'…' 

'Ianto?' 

'You really hurt me Jack, I was excited for our date and...' 

'And?' 

'Nothing just go Jack' 

'Ianto are you coming home?' 

'Maybe' 

'Maybe? Maybe! What about definitely' 

'Jack don't' 

'We'll go on a date' 

'Yay we can wait till another year' 

'We can have a date tonight' 

'Why has your Doctor given you another quest?' 

'Ianto don't be like this' 

'Like what?' 

'Like angry at me' 

'I can't help it; it's one of my many faults. Along with asking stupid questions when I should keep my mouth shut when sitting in a restaurant'

'Please stop making me feel guilty' 

'Jack if I asked you something would you answer me truthfully?' 

'Yeah of course' 

'If the doctor asked you to be his companion would you be?' 

'No Ianto I wouldn't' 

'Really?' 

'Ianto when I told you I loved you I wasn't lying. I love you' 

'I love you too'

'So you're coming back home?'

'Not yet'

'Why?'

'Maybe we should have time apart'

'Huh?'

'I've been feeling like you've been getting a bit bored of me lately'

'Of course I haven't'

'Well can we still have this time apart please?'

'Why?'

'Just trust me on this'

'Oh okay, I don't like this though'

'I know sorry'

'Are we still together during our break?'

'Yeah'

'Good'

'Well I'll see you later Jack'

'Yeah bye Ianto'

T/)

'Jack stop sulking'

'Shouldn't you be gone Doctor'

'I am going soon'

'Then go leave me alone to sulk to my heart's content'

'Are you missing Ianto?'

'No I am thrilled he's not here that's why I'm bouncing off the walls'

'Sarcasm isn't helpful'

'Makes me feel better'

'You look tired'

'I can't sleep'

'Because Ianto's not here?'

'Bingo'

'How long is this break on for?'

'In two more days, I miss him so much, Doctor you fix things, fix this'

'I can't do that, only you can fix this'

'Tell me how!'

'I don't know, it's your relationship'

'Wait I have an idea'

'Uh oh'

'No it's brilliant, Ianto will be back here in no time'

'Jack, don't do anything stupid!'

'Me? Never'

T/)

*knock knock*

'Ianto I…you're not Ianto, John why are you here?'

'I live here, ooh nice flowers'

'They're not for you'

'Oh they're for me roommate; I'll give them to him if you like'

'No I don't like. Get Ianto please'

'I can't he's in the shower, I can go get him'

'Don't you dare, let me in'

'I don't want to'

'John!'

'Fine come on but if Ianto gets angry I'll tell him you forced your way in'

'Whatever. Ianto!'

'Jack?'

'…'

'…'

'What are you two looking at?'

'Nice outfit Eye candy, the towel look suits you'

'John go away!'

'You forget Jack I live here'

'John can you please leave so I can talk to Jack'

'Alright, but if you need backup I'm in the bedroom' *John leaves*

'Why are you here Jack?'

'To give you these flowers and to tell you I really miss you and I want you back'

'Jack I haven't gone anywhere'

'You're not with me'

'I know'

*pause*

'You want to get married Ianto?'

'Excuse me?'

'Want to get married?'

'Yeah I mean it could be cool'

'Cool? Cool!'

'Was that what you didn't want to hear?'

*Sigh* 'You're lucky I love you'

'I am. So were not getting married?'

'Not until you think of a better proposal'

'Alright love you'

'Love you to you idiot'

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	19. The party

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: The party**

**Warnings: Innuendo**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto**

**Summary: Jack throws a random party **

**A.N: I'm writing this chapter in celebration of my new keyboard and mouse. Hope you guys enjoy :) Multiple characters so the speech will be written like this **Jack **Ianto**_ Gwen _John _Lois_ _**Rhys**_

'It's party time!'

'…**Jack what are you on about?'**

'Well you guys have worked really hard and I just think that we should celebrate!'

'_Celebrate what?'_

'Everything!'

'_Everything?'_

'Yeah why not? We work so hard, we are good and we are fantastic so why don't we celebrate it'

'**Have you been on the energy drinks again?'**

'No come on. Listen Gwen when last did you and Rhys go out and have fun?'

'_Not since before I was pregnant'_

'Exactly!'

'_But we can't leave Jessica on her own'_

'I'm not saying you should bring her along. Lois you want a party don't you?'

'_Well…'_

'Think about it wouldn't you like for just one night to let your hair down and have a little bit of fun?'

'_You're right Jack, okay let's do it'_

'John you'd love a party?'

'I love parties I would like to go to one where I have a chance getting off with someone'

'I will buy the alcohol'

'Then I'm in, just as long as there is lots of it'

'Oh there will be. Ianto…'

'**No!'**

'Come on Eye Candy you could have a chance with me'

'_Stop scaring him John. Come on Ianto it could be fun. Ooh you me and Lois could go out shopping let's get all dressed up'_

'**Thanks for the offer Gwen but my penis is still attached'**

'I can vouch for that'

'_Jack stop being rude'_

'Sorry'

'_Gwen's right Ianto, it will be fun, plus…'_

*Lois whispers in Ianto's ear*

'**That's a good idea, alright I'm in'**

'Woot!'

'Jackey let's go get the food and alcohol!'

'Alright John, come on!'

T/)

'Jack'

'Yes John'

'Can I bring someone to the party?'

'No John you can't bring one of your flings so you can have sex with her over Gwen's desk'

'No it's not a fling'

'And no you are not allowed to bring one of your strange friends'

'I don't have strange friends'

'What about that one who lives in a cardboard box…for fun'

'He has an allergy to…things that are not cardboard'

'…'

'True story, honest'

'No John'

'Well he's not exactly a friend'

'Oh he's a…'

'Yeah sort of'

'Well what's he like?'

'Nice'

'Hair?'

'Dark'

'Eyes?'

'Puppy dog'

'Height?

'Taller'

'Body build?'

'Great'

'Size?'

'Eight'

'Nationality?'

'American'

'Where?'

'California'

'Preference?'

'Versatile'

'Occupation?'

'Builder'

'Oh is that the one who's been building next to us, the one who keeps whistling at you when you walk past?'

'Yes'

'Oh well he sounds lovely but you can't bring him'

'Why not?'

'Because in case you forgot this is a secret base as in it needs to be kept a secret'

'Ah'

'What? Oh you haven't told him about this place have you?'

'Well the foundation of any great relationship is honesty'

'We're going to have to retcon him'

'No-way this is unfair you're boyfriend knows about your job'

'That's because he works here'

'Jack please. I really like him and he's cool, you'd approve'

'I'm not your father'

'Then why do you act like him?'

'John you have to retcon him'

'Maybe he could join the team'

'Yes because that's what Torchwood needs…a builder'

'Jack I really like him'

*sigh* 'Fine'

'You are the best boss ever'

'I wonder how long that will last'

T/)

'**I don't know about this'**

'_Trust us you look great'_

'**It's a little different from what I'm used to'**

'_Ianto you look stunning'_

'**Alright if you say so'**

T/)

*party begins*

'_**So Jack, why are you having this party?'**_

'Well honestly me and Ianto had a bit of falling out not so long ago and I wanted us to have some fun with everyone have a little bit of normality'

'_**That's great man'**_

'Thanks Rhys, by the way did Gwen tell you what time she was getting here with Ianto?'

'_**She just said a little late, she's bringing Jess'**_

'…'

'_**What?'**_

'…'

'_**Mate you're dribbling'**_

'Ianto…pretty'

'_**Oh okay I'm off, wipe your chin mate'**_

*Rhys goes as Ianto walks to Jack*

'**Hi baby'**

'Ianto…new clothes?'

'**Yeah you like?'**

'Yeah they're cool; you look good in tight jeans…very tight'

'**Jack I'm up here'**

'Oh yes you are'

'**They're a little too tight'**

'Then take them off'

'**Jack!'**

'Comfort is important'

'**I hate to admit it but this party was a good idea, for once I'm not worried about what being is out there roaming around or what UNIT might want from us'**

'I'm glad baby, you do look gorgeous'

'**Thank you'**

*kiss*

***kiss***

*cuddle*

'**Jack'**

'Yeah?'

'**Why is that builder from up the road here?'**

'He's John's special friend'

'**Okay, I'll freak out about it later'**

'Good'

'**You know what Jack. I love you and I really want to spend the rest of my life with you'**

'Are you proposing?'

'**Well I think one of us should'**

'Awe too bad because I was planning to propose tonight'

'**Really?'**

'Yep, got the ring and everything, it's in my back pocket'

'**Is that an invitation for me to fish it out?'**

'Of course'

'…'

'Warmer'

'**You're enjoying this far too much…oh'**

'So what do you think?'

'**I think I have to say yes'**

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	20. You tell them

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: You tell them…**

**Warnings: None**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto**

**Summary: Jack and Ianto discuss about coming out**

**A.N: Wow haven't updated in awhile been snowed under in paperwork, been thinking of writing a Torchwood series 4 AU fic (where Tosh, Owen and Ianto are still alive) it would also be written in proper story format, wanted to know if you guys would want to read it if I do write it**

'You tell them' 

'No you tell them' 

'You should tell them' 

'Why me?' 

'Because you're the boss!' 

'Yeah so I order you to do it' 

'I think not' 

'Come on it's only Gwen, Lois, John and Martha' 

'Yeah but I have to tell my family so I get the family you get the friends' 

'Let's split you tell 2 and I tell 2' 

'Depends which 2, bagsy not John' 

'Damn, how about you to tell Gwen and Lois I tell Martha' 

'And John. You are telling John' 

'Fine' 

'And you have to give him that retcon to give to his new boyfriend' 

'Ah that might be a problem' 

'...why?' 

'I might have told John his boyfriend could keep his memory' 

'Again I ask why?' 

'Because he seems to like this guy' 

'Really like?' 

'Yeah' 

'Shit that's serious' 

'You're telling me' 

'And by like you mean like, like not stalker like' 

'It appears to be like, like' 

'Ah I see well you're just going to have to retcon him' 

'Me?' 

'Yes you!' 

'Why?' 

'Because you're the boss' 

'So I'll order…' 

'Let's not do that again' 

'Look maybe its not imperative that we do retcon him' 

'He could be an alien' 

'Unlikely' 

'Well he's dating John' 

'I dated John' 

'Exactly' 

'I resent that' 

*kiss* 

'You're forgiven' 

T/) 

'Hi Gwen' 

'Hey Ianto, what's up?' 

'Have some news to tell you' 

'Ooh what is it?' 

'Jack and I are engaged' 

'…' 

'Gwen?' 

'…' 

'Gwen?' 

'Oh my god that's great' 

'Really?' 

'Awe yeah well its a little surprising' 

'Surprising? How so?' 

'Well I just never thought Jack would settle down with you...oh my Yan sorry I did not mean it like that' 

'Yeah thanks Gwen' 

'Ianto' 

'Leave it, thanks for your support, do me a favour and tell Lois you can be shocked together' 

'Ianto I'm sorry' 

'Bye Gwen' 

T/) 

'John, hey have you seen Ianto? We were supposed to meet up and go to the pictures' 

'How should I know he's your fiance' 

'Ah so you heard' 

'News travels fast in a big secret base with five people inside it' 

'Look I know you're not happy about this...' 

'I'm not' 

'I know your not' 

'No I mean I'm not, not happy about it' 

'So you are happy about it?' 

'Yeah why not?' 

'Oh well thought you were going to go all crazy stalkering murdereringness' 

'Na to be honest I like eye candy he's alright' 

'Well that's cool I guess' 

'Trust me its not that hard to get over you' 

'Oh charming' 

'If you're wondering where your future hubby has gone I think he's upstairs sulking' 

'Is it a type of sulking he'll want to see me about or one where I should take a step back from?

'How should I know he wasn't wearing a sign on his arse and trust me I was looking' 

'I'll get you for that later right, now better see what's up with Ianto' 

T/) 

*knock knock* 

'You can come in Jack' 

'A little birdie told me you were sulking' 

'…' 

'You want a cuddle?' 

'Yes please' 

*hug* 

*hug* 

'What's the matter?' 

'Nothing, just something Gwen said' 

'What did she say?' 

'That she never thought you would settle down with me' 

'Well she's an idiot, and so are you for letting that get to you' 

'I know' 

'I love you' 

'Love you too, sorry for being stupid' 

'So you should, you look far cuter when you smile than when you frown. You shouldn't be worried about anything anyone says I'm with you and no-one else' 

'Yay' 

'Yay is right'

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	21. A night at the pictures

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: A night at the pictures**

**Warnings: Innuendo, swearing.**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto**

**Summary: Ianto drags Jack, John and Gwen to the pictures**

**A.N: Multiple characters so the speech will be written like this **Jack **Ianto**_ Gwen _John

_'Ianto are you making us watch another educational film?'  
_

**'I like educational films'  
**

'You are such a geek'  


**'Jack I'm not a geek am I?'**

'What answer shall I give you that will make sure I get sex tonight?' 

**'You say no I'm not a geek'**

'You're not a geek baby' 

***kiss*  
**

*kiss* 

_'You're supposed to wait till the film starts before you start snogging on the back row'  
_

**'Sorry'  
**

'I'm not' *cuddle* 

_'So what is this film about?'  
_

**'Wales'  
**

'Why on earth are we watching a film about Wales we're already here?'  


**'You'll see'  
**

_'Why is Lois not here?'  
_

'She has to check rift activity' 

'Lucky girl would rather be looking at the rift then watching some...ow why did you hit me?' 

'Didn't hit you was just stretching my arm' 

***smirk***

'Don't get smug eye candy he's only here because he wants to get laid'  


'I have you know I'm here because I find it interesting and cultural' 

'Did you practise that in the mirror this morning?'  


'No' 

**'Jack its okay if you don't find it fascinating'  
**

'I do' 

**'Were still going to have sex even if you don't'  
**

'Well its not that I find it boring it's just...' 

**'You find it boring'  
**

'Only a tiny bit'

'Knew it'

'**It doesn't matter Jack, I appreciate that you're here and in return I'll find us an office to break in'**

'Oh yeah?'

'**Yeah I even have my stopwatch with me'**

'Wow offices and stopwatches even your sex life sounds boring'

'Don't knock it till you tried it'

'I have but Eye Candy keeps telling me to piss off…ow stop hitting me'

'Stretching again'

'_Wish Rhys was here'_

'I don't, otherwise be next to two couples who wouldn't go for a threesome'

'Why couldn't Rhys make it?'

'_Well someone had to look after Jessica, we were going to get my parents to baby-sit here, but when he heard what film we were seeing, he chose the screaming child'_

'**People should give silent films a chance one of the most outrageous opening sequence was in a silent film and it's argued to be **_**the**_** most disturbing opening scene ever'**

'And what was that?'

'**It's the one with the eye'**

'The eye'

'**The eye and the moon'**

'What moon? Is this a children's nursery rhyme'

'**Forget it, Gwen do you know what I'm talking about?'**

'_Sorry I wasn't listening'_

'**Jack'**

'I'm not sure, is it the film that I'm thinking about?'

'**Why what film are you thinking about?'**

'Un Chien Andalou'

'**That's it'**

'You are sick brilliant man and I love it'

'We're watching a film about a dog?

'You wish'

'_Now I'm scared'_

'**Sh it's starting'**

'_It's all foreign'_

'**Sh'**

'Wonders if he says that when he's shagging Jack'

'He's too busy screaming to say anything'

'_I don't get it what's going on?'_

'**Should have remembered she does this through films'**

'I see the moon'

'_What's with the eye?'_

'I see the moon again…OH MY GOD!'

'_AHHH!'_

'What the hell are you making us watch and you two stop laughing'

'_I think I'm going to be sick'_

'**Oh be quiet and watch the film'**

*15 minutes later*

'_It's over'_

'What was it even about?'

'**That's surrealism for you'**

'_How was that educational?'_

'**Teaches you silent films are not boring, so what do you think Jack?'**

'I think we should go find and office'

***kiss***

*kiss*

'_You want to have sex after what we just watched?'_

'Yeah that's sick even for me'

'Well you two aren't apart of it so it doesn't matter what you think?'

'_You lied about it being about Wales'_

'**Well I needed to use your patriotism to get you to stay and to put you in a false sense of security'**

'Plus how do you know it's not based in Wales?'

'_Because we're not that weird'_

'How do you explain Ianto…ow! Jack I warn you'

'It wasn't me'

'**It was me'**

'You can be a right bitch when you want to be'

'**I practise'**

'_Next time Ianto can we go see a boring educational film please'_

'**Of course'**

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	22. A fine view

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: A fine view**

**Warnings: Innuendo**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto**

**Summary: Jack, John and the Doctor are fascinated by something**

**A.N: Multiple characters so the speech will be written like this **Jack **Ianto**_ Doctor _John

'Hey what you watching Cap'

'That'

'Oh my… good call'

'Want a beer?'

'Sure, so is this a regular spectacle?'

'Only when the hub needs maintenance'

'Is that often?'

'It is when you cause it'

'Thanks for the hint, so does he know you mess with the hardware'

'Are you kidding he'd kill me'

'I never thought he'd be that good at maintenance'

'He's a man of many talents, trust me I experience most of them'

'Lucky guy, does he know what happens to him when he bends wearing pinstripes?'

'He has no idea'

'How do you get out of bed in the mornings?'

'Unfortunately sometimes we need a break, last week when the maintenance went down; we did it for so long I got friction burns'

'Ouch'

'Yep but it was worth it, he put cream on me'

'I can't think of words to describe what I'm seeing'

'I think what you're looking for is classy'

'Yes he definitely is all class'

'_Hey lads'_

'Who are you?'

'_Doctor'_

'Doctor who?'

'Don't go there'

'_So what are we…oh my'_

'Yep and it's all mine'

'_What's he doing?'_

'Maintenance, anyway why are you here?'

'_Hanging, thought I might pop in, glad I did now'_

'Doctor I didn't know you were like that'

'_How old are you Jack, I appreciate beauty and what we're looking at its quite picturesque'_

'And I'm the only one that's aloud to touch it'

'He's bending again…woah'

'_Woah'_

'Yeah it is, that's my own classy ass'

'Yep a classy arse'

'_Definitely an arse that is classy'_

'**Do any of use plan on doing any work or are you just going to stare at my arse as I fix what Jack broke'**

'…'

'…'

'…'

'**By the way it's nice to see you again Doctor'**

'_Thanks, nice to see you too'_

'**So I gathered'**

'_I best go'_

'Yeah me too'

'I need to…'

'**Wait Jack, just to let you know I know what pinstripes do to me that's why I wear them when doing maintenance' *bends over* 'And I know what happens when I do this'**

'…'

'**Jack, go have a cold shower this might take awhile'**

'Yes sir'

'**Good boy'**

**You like? You don't like? Read and Review!**


	23. Jack is jealous

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Jack is Jealous**

**Warnings: Swearing**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto**

**Summary: Jack watches Ianto talk to a cute guy and decides to follow him dragging Gwen along with him.**

**A.N: Oh I have so much to say. Why this has taken forever to be uploaded is because I have had no internet for a while, my computer somehow had something wrong with it and had to be cleaned out so I dont have microsoft word anymore, so I'm writing this on Wordpad, so sorry for spelling and grammer mistakes. This story is going to have a little break for a while as I think of more chapter ideas and as I work on my new Torchwood fic. I wasn't able to any work on it this week because I've been really ill but it shouldn't be too long before I upload a new fic I have quite a few different Torchwood fics in production so hopefully they'll be up soon.**

'Hi Jack'

'What do you want Gwen?'

'Just thought I...Jack what are you...'

'Shhh I'm watching'

'Watching what?'

'CCTV cameras you know for...work'

'Aha so why are you watching the screen with Ianto talking to that...really cute guy'

'You call that cute?'

'Yeah don't you?'

'No he looks like a wheedy little runt'

'Oh be quiet he's gorgeous and young he looks about Ianto's age'

'Ianto isn't young, he's a fully fledged adult'

'And you'd be the one to know'

'Get your hand off my boyfriend!'

'Jack he just touched his arm' 

'No he didn't he stroked it' 

'Jack I think your going to the bad place now. You know the place where you turn into a jealous man who begins to stalk his own boyfriend' 

'They're on the move. Quick Gwen we got to follow them' 

'You're kidding right' 

'No come on let's hurry' 

'Jack I am not going to help you stalk Ianto like hes a criminal' 

'Why are you still talking, we need to get going' 

'Fine but if Ianto asks I'm not going to lie' 

T/) 

'Quick we need to stop him' 

'What?' 

'He's pushing himself on him' 

'They're having a drink' 

'Yeah but look at him he keeps moving closer to him' 

'Yeah Jack he might as well be raping him. Why are you being like this they're probably just friends' 

'Well how many friends does he need?' 

'Jack, Ianto adores you, he loves you he's not very likely to have an affair' 

'Who said an affair? Ianto is having an affair!' 

'Jack if you keep being stupid I'm going to hurt you' 

'But Ianto is having a drink with some guy. A guy who's a lot prettier than me' 

'That's it Jack I'm leaving' 

'What? But I need you for backup' 

'Jack look that guy is gone and now so am I' 

'No wait...shit' 

T/) 

'Ianto!' 

'Jack? What are you doing here?' 

'Just passing...so who was that guy you were with?' 

'David he was my best friend in uni' 

'Is he gay?' 

'Thought you didn't like labels' 

'I don't but is he' 

'Yes' 

'I knew it you dirty slag' 

'I think we need better pet names for each other' 

'You went on a date with another guy' 

'No I went for a drink with an old friend' 

'And who was coming onto you' 

'No he wasn't...wait why would you think that he was coming onto me?' 

'...'

'Wait have you been spying on me?' 

'No' 

'Jack?' 

'Okay a little' 

'Give me one reason why I shouldn't put you on decafe' 

'Because I was worried about you I was scared you found someone who was you know cuter than me' 

'Jack there's noone cuter than you' 

'Really?' 

'Mhm especially when you're jealous' 

'I'm not jealous...don't raise your eyebrow at me' 

'So you will be fine knowing that david was my first kiss with a guy' 

'Okay I'm a little jealous' 

'...' 

'Okay a lot' 

*smirk* 

'Why do you look so smug?' 

'You're jealous' 

'So?' 

'Its sweet' 

'Really?' 

'Yeah though the stalking is a little creepy though' 

'Sorry' 

'You wanna make it up to me? Buy me dinner' 

'Sure. Wait just tell me you're not having an affair are you?' 

'Not that I know of' 

'Just I know I take you for granted most of the time and I wouldn't blame you if you did I was a bit of idiot at the start' 

'Try prat' 

'Yes I was a prat happy?' 

'Exstatic. Don't worry I'm not having an affair' 

'Really?' 

'Of course' 

'Love you' 

'Love you too'

**You like? You don't like Red and Review!**


	24. Traditional

**Title: The adventures of Jack and Ianto**

**Chapter Title: Traditional?**

**Warnings: ****Sleepy, grumpy Jack**

**Pairings: Jack/Ianto**

**Summary:**** Ianto wants to talk about the wedding, Jack's not so keen.**

**A.N apologise: I am so sorry I am so late in updating, Christmas was a bad time for me and I've had writer's block and I am also sorry I haven't done what I said in my last author's notes and I haven't posted a new Jack/Ianto fic.**

**A.N Good news:**** I have written a complete story/chapter plan of my new Torchwood fic, which is a 13 chaptered Torchwood series 4 fic, set AU where if Tosh, Owen and Jack survived. Each chapter is an episode, so it would be in the same style as series 2. The chapter plots have been checked by my BETA and I'm currently writing the first chapter but it won't be finished till I finish the series so each chapter can be uploaded once a week so I'd love to know if you guys are interested in this and think it's a good idea.**

'Jack?'

'I'm asleep Ianto'

'Then how come you answered me?'

'I'm sleep talking'

'I was wanting to talk about the wedding'

'I AM wanting to sleep…Ouch no need to kick me'

'Well since you're awake lets talk about the wedding'

'I've only just proposed it's going to be months and months till we actually do it'

'So you want a proper wedding ceremony'

'How did you get to that conclusion?'

'Well, why would we wait so long if it's not going to have a ceremony we might as well do it now'

'You haven't even told your sister'

'Exactly I don't really know what to tell her'

'Surely you can tell her we're getting married that's not much more to it'

'I feel loved'

'I do love you'

'Then at least have some enthusiasm you must have had some idea what was going to happen when you asked me to marry you'

'All I thought about was making that final step for commitment towards you or whatever you 21st century folks thinks the meaning of marriage is'

'Well what do you think the meaning of marriage is?'

'The availability to call yourself Mrs'

'Jack…'

'Fine, I don't really think that getting married is quite a big thing where I come from, getting married really means you love someone and it's really rare, so yeah that's what it means'

*kiss* 'I love you too'

'Can I sleep now?'

'No, see I don't mind how we do it if you want to do it a specific way I want to do it your way'

'Ianto I decided on the ring that's as far as my decision making goes until I pick out my costume'

*rolls eyes* 'So you wouldn't mind if we had a small ceremony just invite our friends and family'

'Who else would we invite to our wedding?'

'Don't be smart it doesn't suit you'

'Hey!'

'Just kidding'

*huffs*

'So does that sound okay?'

'Knock yourself out' *yawn* 'Any other questions?'

'Are we going to have best men?'

'Have whoever you like I always figured you'd have bridesmaids…Ouch!'

'You forget Jack you maybe the one who proposed but everyone knows you're the bride'

'Does that mean I can wear a white dress?'

'If you really want to'

'Kinky'

'Should I tell her about us trying for a baby?'

'Ianto you know if you want us to have sex you only need to ask'

'No I'm actually asking if you think I should tell her'

'Then I'm too tired to answer'

'…'

'Okay yes you can tell her, is that it?'

'Are you going to marry me before you get me pregnant?'

'Might as well'

'How traditional'

'Well it's nice to change our routine once in awhile'

**You like? You don't like? Read and Recview!**


End file.
